Thoughts
hello people!
its like 3.19am and i am blogging not because i cannot go to sleep but because i just feel like. Was thinking about how i became who i am today, not looks wise all the more not achievements, but merely character.
When i was young, i always needed things to go my way and its all about me myself and i. Like when i couldnt get to play the toys i want, i will cry and all the adults will come to my rescue thinking i am the one being bullied. I rmb thr was this time i was very young and hence i dont really know how to play uno-stack-toe. So my sis and my cousin were just playing between themselves without letting me to play. I was very upset that i just hit on their nicely stacked uno-stack-toe making everything come falling down and then i cried. LOL. so all the adults like my parents aunts all those came to the rm and they sided with me. In the end my sis and my cousin was so angry that they just push all the blocks to me and ask me play alone. So, despite this, i still wasnt happy and i realise actually i wanted was to be their "friend". Since then, i learn to be more accommodating and i am glad i made the change.
I used to be a very defensive person like i cannot take it if people say a single joke about me. I will always make sure i win in an argument leaving the person with no words. Obviously this doesnt make me very well liked. then as i do realise that, i started to change. From someone who is very defensive and winning and argument is very important to me, i change to someone who is very open about jokes and well, i would say i will make my point in an argument but winning is not the aim. I rmb there was this period when i cultivated my mindset to not be too serious about joking, it all about controlling and adapting. to the extend that i am very ok when people jokes with relation to me now and i really do think they are funny. I guess people do change and people will change when they make an effort to do so. And i must say, the change of behavior in me does makes me a happier person today.
hahas the reason why i posted is because i realise that i always have the tendency to pbserve alot and so called 'reflect' on what happened in the day and point out exactly whr i was wrong. Like today my friend was just making some comment but i dont know why at that point i was so persistent to rebut to 'win' when its just a joke. lol. its like random thoughts will just come to me about what i did in the day and not that i really sit down and reflect. And the thing is small things like this bothers me alot because i dun like times when i am doing unnecessary things that causes others more impt stuff to be at stake. that day i was doing a test and it says my subconscious is obsessed with what other ppl think of me. I think is super true because whatever i do i can foresee exactly what others will think of me. Whether i care about their opinion is another thing but i will have the thought of how they are judging me. Today theresa and jh was saying i always keep alot thoughts to myself and i guess it probably because i think way way too much in a day that it feels unnecessary to share with others. Afterall, all these thoughts are just my own opinion and i dont really like to 'pollute' ppl with them unless people ask or i think its absolutely necessary. hahas. perhaps everyone just a little weird and this is my weird side.
Day 11: Pick one thing you miss (I know there are 19238923842039402394 things) and describe it in detail.
I miss hugging him. The question says describe in details but thr is no details. Its just i feel so safe when he hug me in his 怀里. Before we officially got tog and we were tickling each other and all of sudden he just grabbed me like the hug and carry up that kind. It was the first time i felt so safe in his arms and it has always been. He's just like this big teddy bear which protects me from all my fears. :') i miss you so much stupid pui. even though i am around people but you never left my thoughts and i cant wait for the day when you are back and i can be in your arms again..
its like 3.19am and i am blogging not because i cannot go to sleep but because i just feel like. Was thinking about how i became who i am today, not looks wise all the more not achievements, but merely character.
When i was young, i always needed things to go my way and its all about me myself and i. Like when i couldnt get to play the toys i want, i will cry and all the adults will come to my rescue thinking i am the one being bullied. I rmb thr was this time i was very young and hence i dont really know how to play uno-stack-toe. So my sis and my cousin were just playing between themselves without letting me to play. I was very upset that i just hit on their nicely stacked uno-stack-toe making everything come falling down and then i cried. LOL. so all the adults like my parents aunts all those came to the rm and they sided with me. In the end my sis and my cousin was so angry that they just push all the blocks to me and ask me play alone. So, despite this, i still wasnt happy and i realise actually i wanted was to be their "friend". Since then, i learn to be more accommodating and i am glad i made the change.
I used to be a very defensive person like i cannot take it if people say a single joke about me. I will always make sure i win in an argument leaving the person with no words. Obviously this doesnt make me very well liked. then as i do realise that, i started to change. From someone who is very defensive and winning and argument is very important to me, i change to someone who is very open about jokes and well, i would say i will make my point in an argument but winning is not the aim. I rmb there was this period when i cultivated my mindset to not be too serious about joking, it all about controlling and adapting. to the extend that i am very ok when people jokes with relation to me now and i really do think they are funny. I guess people do change and people will change when they make an effort to do so. And i must say, the change of behavior in me does makes me a happier person today.
hahas the reason why i posted is because i realise that i always have the tendency to pbserve alot and so called 'reflect' on what happened in the day and point out exactly whr i was wrong. Like today my friend was just making some comment but i dont know why at that point i was so persistent to rebut to 'win' when its just a joke. lol. its like random thoughts will just come to me about what i did in the day and not that i really sit down and reflect. And the thing is small things like this bothers me alot because i dun like times when i am doing unnecessary things that causes others more impt stuff to be at stake. that day i was doing a test and it says my subconscious is obsessed with what other ppl think of me. I think is super true because whatever i do i can foresee exactly what others will think of me. Whether i care about their opinion is another thing but i will have the thought of how they are judging me. Today theresa and jh was saying i always keep alot thoughts to myself and i guess it probably because i think way way too much in a day that it feels unnecessary to share with others. Afterall, all these thoughts are just my own opinion and i dont really like to 'pollute' ppl with them unless people ask or i think its absolutely necessary. hahas. perhaps everyone just a little weird and this is my weird side.
Day 11: Pick one thing you miss (I know there are 19238923842039402394 things) and describe it in detail.
I miss hugging him. The question says describe in details but thr is no details. Its just i feel so safe when he hug me in his 怀里. Before we officially got tog and we were tickling each other and all of sudden he just grabbed me like the hug and carry up that kind. It was the first time i felt so safe in his arms and it has always been. He's just like this big teddy bear which protects me from all my fears. :') i miss you so much stupid pui. even though i am around people but you never left my thoughts and i cant wait for the day when you are back and i can be in your arms again..
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