have you all ever had the feeling of being so lost and unwanted? well..thats what i am feeling now..

it feels like i am a begger, begging for favours begging for chances. i had always been the one at control, the one choosing. however, its truly my first time being at the mercy of others. i dunno if anyone of you will understand what am i talking about. if you did, good for you..if you did, sorry i am not in the mood to explain.

to be honest, its always easier to console people by telling them life is all like this. there are ups and downs..if it was to be smooth sailing how do we learn? while thr are some truth to these words, who wouldnt wish their life was smooth sailing?who wouldnt hope everything can proceed according to one's wish?

anyway side track but you knows sometimes its irritating that you are the one who always bother to cares and show concern..but when it comes to your turn to need these kind words, none was given. it makes you wonder why are you even giving a damm about anything when ppl obviously dont. anw if you guys dunno me, let me brief you all on a few characteristic of my message/whatsapp

1. i always start a sentence with 'ehh' during a normal chat. if i didnt, i will hav start with something high like 'heyy' or 'name!' etc. pls dun think i am rude or something..if i am polite it probably means i dun even feel slightly close to you.. so be honoured if i do ehh hahaha

2. 99% of my sentences contain 'hahahs' and 'lol' which includes even longer version like 'hahhaaha' or 'lololol' or emoji etc..if i didnt it definately means i am in a really really bad mood and upset

this is so random but whatever. thats what i like about blogging..it helps to distract me from my worries or just simply releasing my emotions..

sooo, thats just two simple point about my style of texting..seriously i dun think its hard to spot esp if you hav know me for years..but apprantly i am so wrong. so yea. whatever..my life is screwed enough without me zhuan niu jiao jian or trying to identify who are those who care and those who doesnt.