Do you ever feel that weird feeling that when someone doing something bad, you will actually find some reason for that person behaviour? I wasnt such a person before, but recently i noticed i am often finding reasons or even excuses for people actions. Maybe it was to make myself feel better, to tell myself that the world isnt such a bad place.

But the thing is - I want to believe the good in people. Or rather, I hope to believe the good in people.

I guess this is something after joining healthcare that I learnt. Patients are non compliant to medications not because they just didnt wanted to take it, but mayb because they didnt want their family to worry or know about their conditions. Patients are mean to you, not because they dont like, but mayb because because they had anxiety issues and seeing you makes them felt that their health deteriorated. People are refusing to pay for medical bills not because they felt that it wasnt important, but mayb because they have 6 children at home waiting to be fed. 

There are alot of things that pissed you off initially, but once you found out the reason, your heart goes out to them. I used to be a very 'on the surface' person. I take things as the way i see it, i experience it. If I see someone littering, I get angry at the person. If I see someone being mean to another person, I simply felt that this person is a mean person. I still am such a person. But many times after I rethink, I find myself starting to find reason for people behaviour, be it their family background, their friends, they character or whatever. Even I myself cant differentiate if those are legit reasons or are they just excuses. I mean well, no one is suppose to vent your anger on another person just because you have a stressor for example. Then again we are all only humans (see there I did it again...)

So recently there are people who are being mean at work (well it has been a long history of them being mean but recently it impacted me so..). Starting i was really angry and upset like wth why are there even people like that in the team. Isnt it good if everyone just work tog happily? why must they say all the bad things about every single person in the team. Basically nobody pleases them (not like anyone needed to though). So after a while, i started to think was there an explaination for the way they behave. Mayb it was insecurity about the new team members, mayb it was their family background and friends they mixed with, mayb it was them trying to put other people down to please other people. In fact, i even felt that if they are not with the wrong company of friends, they could be nice people. COULD BE. 

Well, I can believe the good in people, but it doesnt mean i can be bullied. People can be mean but there is always a line between believing the good in people and being stupid. Its a fine line that I am still trying to master which is why I created this post to remind myself.