At some points in your life, you suddenly found an old item, blog post or even current situation that makes you wonder how did things became like now. You start to miss the people or the environment or just simply the past. The thing is at that point in your life, you did enjoy the time spent, but you didnt exceptionally treasure them because you never expect them to be the last time experiencing.

i chanced upon one of my first blog post and in thr i stated that i will be best friend forever with my pri sch friends. It mayb really childish but it was really what i felt at that time. Well, i guess people come people go, we dont even keep in contact not except liking each other photo on instagram? As i saw that post, i started to wonder why isit that there are many people out there who can just forget about their old friends because of new ones met. perhaps its also my fault that i didnt make the extra effort to constantly keep in contact. mayb i am the only one constantly left missing the good old days and wishing for our relationship to come back. it may be 5 years ltr, 10 years ltr and at some point you give up thinking about it. But you never managed to get over it, you just moved on.

The feeling occurs once again when i invited my work friends from pwc to my birthday party. Yes they are all in different sch in different course as me but it doesnt means that we didnt hav such a great time working together and always findings means to meet at lvl 7 where we have our play time in the middle of the day. Be it meeting to lunch although we are spread across the CBD or be it we always attended stuff tog. Meeting them was the greatest reason i never regretted working thr despite the low pay, no relation to my course and the workload was pretty bad. After thinking for a long time if i should invite them, i decided i should because well, i really like them. Its just sadden me that mayb well, we arent that close. i saw message read, not replied to, and when someone replied that she couldnt make it because of her lesson, the rest followed suit and said "ya me too". No i am not blaming them for not turning up, but just being hurt by the lack of sincerity because well, i treasured them but it does takes two hands to clap. Mayb this is just such a minor thing to judge our friendship or mayb i am just overly sensitive. I asked my sis why people change and she replied "well, you do too just that you didnt know". Mayb i did change and they did change and things wont just go back to the way they were.

today while i was at training and feeling really pissed off, i sat at one corner and looked at the team. Then i was overwhelmed with sadness. I saw how the team evolved and how all the seniors are not coming back. True, some may be weird but the thing is, they are nice. they are willing to teach you patiently and they made the extra effort to come back to train us. I remembered when i first joined cheer, i really like it and all we did was learning and stunting. Nothing else more. Seniors were encouraging, bases will not hiam you. Because of their nice-ness, i somehow became 'trained' to say sorry when a stunt fail regardless if it was my fault, because i always assume it was. Those were the days when the seniors could exactly tell you "no its not your fault it because blah blah blah". Somehow, those days were gone. people take advantage of you and think its your fault just because you werent a very good flyer. just because we werent gd at it doesnt means we are not trying. Cheer is not encouraging anymore, it is depressing. But then again, isnt this just how the society works? i should probably just stop living in my fairytale.

The main point of my post today was things changes, so do people. there is nothing that anyone can do about it and mayb i should just stop wishing for a time turner on my birthday wish. just kidding hahas i dont. But anw sometimes days like these just made me feel sad :(

Day 24: Describe him/her physically and emotionally/personality-wise

he is really tall like i never really imagined myself to be with a tall guy. i like to lie in the arm of his cos its a really nice feeling. his forehead is pretty high like mine and he has small eyes which i always laugh at. Okayy he doesnt but when he smile his eyes will become very small so thats what i see most of the time lololol. my friend says he looks like kris from exo LOL. emotionally he is pretty sensitive and tbh he taught me alot of stuff that i didnt know but was glad i did now. We both like to lone in the room and would prefer a quiet day in than a fanciful party.