You guys ever felt times when things just dun seems to go your way. You planned to do something, you make effort for it but somehow, along the way, something will come and screw it up. And poof! your efforts goes down the drain. People always looks at the results, but never the process. Or rather, the process only matters if you produces results. No matter how much effort you put in, if the outcome isn't the supposedly one, then too bad. No one will ever ever ask what have you done.

Then, it comes this part where you felt its your fault for not succeeding and you started blaming yourself for not making enough effort. At this point, you have not idea if it was really your fault or if it was that unexpected occurrence that causes your state. At this point, you are already bias because you tend to blame yourself for not doing enough. You blame yourself because it makes you feel better or sometimes, you think it makes others feels better. Which, it really will, make them better.

I dun really know what I am talking about because its just a small thought that triggers this whole serious of thoughts. And I am feeling miserable now.. like I was already feeling so..

There is a part of me that hates to say sorry. When I said it, it really means I meant it. But somedays I just feel sorry is not enough.. damage it done. Sometimes, all I longed for was something that could not happen, at least for now.

you guys can ignore me because this post doesn't make sense and its just a whole series of sian-ness, from different things that accumulated all the emotions and then the trigger hits and bam. All are let loose.

Supposedly be a happy day. Supposedly be a happy convo. Supposedly be a nice feeling. You expected a lot of things of reality is often different from your thoughts.